I began practicing Aikido in 1982 in Glasgow. My interest in Aikido came directly from my interest and practice of meditation - Soto Zen. I had studied and practiced Zazen for many years, attended Sesshins, and went on retreats. But I wasn't entirely satisfied. There was something missing.
When I first encountered Aikido it was if a light had been switched on. In a strange way I could understand exactly what was happening on the mat. It was many years later, however, before I could even begin to reproduce anything like those graceful and effortless movements - I'm still learning!
It seems to me now that while Zen is not Aikido, and Aikido is certainly not Zen, I am able to understand them both a little more. The 'not' of something can be very illuminating, and this is perhaps one of the reasons why I am uncomfortable with dogma, 'true ways', and definitive ways of doing things or understanding. It is contrary to my life experience and the nature of an ever-changing universe. My attitude towards Aikido is much the same.
There are many excellent teachers around and I have been fortunate to have the opportunity to learn from them. These include countless Ukes and Toris, Billy Coyle Sensei, Ken Williams Sensei, Okamoto Sensei (Daito Ryu Roppokai), Maitre Daniel Bran, Hamada Sensei, Sunadomari Sensei, Maruyama Sensei, Endo Sensei, Ueshiba Moriteru Doshu, Yamaguchi Tetsu Sensei,Yasuno Sensei, Yamashima Sensei, Ikeda Sensei, Tissier Sensei, Stephane Benedetti Sensei, Kanetsuka Sensei and Terry Ezra Sensei.
No matter how long or how short a time spent with these teachers each has contributed something, and I am grateful to them all. But all of these teachers have one thing in common: the 'way' of Aikido is not something that they can give to a student. People must find it for themselves! It is for this reason that I call the group that I teach Aikido Kenkyukai (research or experimental group). I like to encourage students to learn technique, look into it closely, and let it go.
In daily life there are many opportunities for development, and many forms of guidance along the way. In the dojo the mat is like a mirror for us, offering us the opportunity to develop fine tuning skills and elicit, from the practice of Aikido, glimpses of our true nature - a nature that is no different from the nature of the universe.
Of course we have to identify and let go of many things, our pride, self-will, egotism, stubbornness, etc. It is training for life. The training process of action and reflection never stops. It spills into our daily lives and life itself becomes our dojo. In time we realise that there has never been any separation. We are what we practice. Out of emptiness form manifests itself, and form dissolves into emptiness. The spontaneous expression of technique is no other than this. For me this is the joy of Aikido.
